Friday, May 30, 2014

Just Some Musings and Thoughts

I really need to be better about updating, have started to do it several times and never finished.   Getting through the day to day of life this past year has been a chore.  We have had our ups and way too many downs it seems.  But through it all, and in all, God is good and God is faithful.  Couldn't make it through one day without Him.

At some point I will go in to further detail - but parenting has been a struggle this year.  It has matured us a whole heck of a lot.  Humbled us, brought us to our knees and thankfully God has picked up the pieces and set about healing and restoration.

All my life I have dealt with worry and anxiety and have done a pretty good job of not letting it consume me. My early years in marriage and parenting were fraught with worry and anxiety.  It was horrible.  I let it consume for far too long.

As of late, it has crept back in and I go to God in prayer daily asking Him to release me of this consuming fire of worry and feelings of anxiousness.  I know that worry sees problems, but faith sees the God who can handle those problems, but when you are consumed its sometimes hard to see.  So I take it a day at a time and thankfully it is getting better.

I am thankful for a wonderful, loving husband who cherishes our relationship more today than ever - I can honestly say after 20 years of marriage I love him so much more than the day we got married.  I have 2 great sons who are growing up way too fast, it feels as if time has been put on fast forward.  But a new stage of life is exciting as well.  I am blessed beyond measure, but human.  In my humanness I let the worries of this world consume me sometimes - breaking free is hard but I am doing my best to get my head above that water!

In about 1 week our oldest graduates from high school - I am literally counting down the hours until the last day of school - it has been a rough year.  But with this rite of passage in graduating it brings a world of opportunity and hope for him.  Our youngest ends his Freshman year in high school - a boy who is growing in to a fine young man just like his brother.  So proud of both of them and what they have accomplished this year.

I am SO excited for the graduation party celebration.  My dad, brother, sister in law, niece and great nephews/niece are coming in to town to celebrate with us and they are staying with us!  This brings my heart SO much joy.  Family is so important to me...I wish we all lived closer.  Thankful to still have my dad with us, but it does feel as if our family is dwindling each year.  There are only 3 siblings of 5 left now.  Still seems weird to say that.  I cherish the time I get to spend with family.

We got to spend some quality time recently in Costa Rica with family. My nephew married his love there (she is from Costa Rica).  We were blessed to stay in a condo with my brother and sister in law and my niece and her boyfriend.  It was an adventure to say the least.  I won't bore you with all the details but we were hit hard by Montezuma's revenge (me, Rob and my bro and sis-in-law).  It was NOT a fun couple of days with it.  Rob and I made it through the wedding but only about 20 minutes in to the reception.  I have never felt worse in my life.  But overall was a great trip - lots of memories made.

What I do know and see is that we are all in this together (sounds a bit High School Musical huh?) but it is true.  We can't walk this life alone nor face our problems alone.  I am SO very thankful for a few close gals in my life that are my burden bearers - they pray for me and my family - they hold me up and mean the world to me.  I don't think they realize what they truly mean to me.  Thankful to walk the roads of life with them.  I pray that all women get to experience the kind of friendships I have been blessed with - they are the best.

I will try and be better about updating - and hopefully soon share our journey in order to help others who are facing or will face what we have in the past year.  A favorite psalm that I have read just about every day is Psalm 91 - so comforting...hope it provides you the same comfort today that is has provided to me:

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.  For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. 

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings.  His faithful promises are your armor and protection.  Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day.  Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday.  Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you.  Just open your eyes, and see how the wicked are punished.  If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home.  For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go. 

They will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.  You will trample upon lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.  I will protect those who trust in my name.  When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble.  I will rescue and honor them.  I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.”